Dispatch from the mists
I have been in the fog for a long time now. Neptune has been transiting my first house for years, dissolving my sense of self, my identity, all my unquestioned assumptions about who I am. With some years navigating the fog under my belt, I can look back and know that the self which has dissolved away was false, a construct based on what I thought was expected of me. Or what I invented to expect of myself. And now I am in a new phase again, a new version of the cloud. The realm
of wordless flowing time that is those early newborn days. The lesson
to go with the flow is taken deeper than ever, as I adjust to being a
mother of two, my son adjusts to being earth side and my daughter
adjusts to being a big sister. With Neptune sitting on my Mercury, once
again I am forced to learn just how much the mind can influence matter,
or at least appear to. But there are some processes to which we must
simply surrender.
Carolyn Hillyer, in her amazing book Sacred House, describes the Neptune process beautifully as a Mazy Dance;
"the mist poured into her, obliterating memory and rhythm and pattern and perspective and even her soul"
Neptune's mazy dance takes us far from linear time:
"Cycles of time coiled and spilled over her...all those pieces of time contracting...She was dozing in a fluid and unstable territory."
To navigate the maze, we have to surrender the ego, the conscious mind, and learn to connect to the voice of divine guidance within;
"there was nothing to latch onto to help define her path; she must create a pattern of her own."
And so I seek out the sacred Neptune moments amongst the domesticity of my days - lighting a candle to remind myself of the sacredness of this work, a few moments meditating in the garden at dusk. In birthing a babe, you birth a new self too, that's a given. Someday soon Neptune will move on and I will see that self more clearly. But for now, I flow, and I wander in the now familiar fog, and I dance the mazy dance.
Carolyn Hillyer, in her amazing book Sacred House, describes the Neptune process beautifully as a Mazy Dance;
"the mist poured into her, obliterating memory and rhythm and pattern and perspective and even her soul"
Neptune's mazy dance takes us far from linear time:
"Cycles of time coiled and spilled over her...all those pieces of time contracting...She was dozing in a fluid and unstable territory."
To navigate the maze, we have to surrender the ego, the conscious mind, and learn to connect to the voice of divine guidance within;
"there was nothing to latch onto to help define her path; she must create a pattern of her own."
And so I seek out the sacred Neptune moments amongst the domesticity of my days - lighting a candle to remind myself of the sacredness of this work, a few moments meditating in the garden at dusk. In birthing a babe, you birth a new self too, that's a given. Someday soon Neptune will move on and I will see that self more clearly. But for now, I flow, and I wander in the now familiar fog, and I dance the mazy dance.